The Month of April will come to an end soon. It’s sad that i didn’t even spend my Days with my Fam. We didn’t go to beach, to have swim party, nothing. I don’t consider my summer as ‘Vacation’ it’s more of ‘there’s no gathering/s or party so stay home’ kind of summer, maybe next year will get out of the town, go hike, go swim and finally go to the Beach!!! Hihihihi. For now, stay home, go skate or stroll with Friends. Spend my summer with them because we might not get to see each other on School Days.
❝ For what it’s worth: it’s never too late to be whoever you want to be. I hope you live a life you’re proud of, and if you find that you’re not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again.
I love to stop smoking but i don’t know why i can’t. I mean every week i smoke twice or thrice but then i really want to stop. I need to stop smoking because it’s bad and i’m wasting my time everytime i smoke. I only smoke when i feel low, i smoke whenever i’m with him and i find peace when i smoke.
❝ Falling in love again after you’ve been hurt before is hard. Wait, that’s an understatement, right? You think you’ve got your head on straight and you’re finally in control of your life and then someone steps in and everything is different. You’re walking on cloud nine for a little bit, butterflies in your stomach, and you’re all smiles. And then the realization that you’ve let your guard down hits you like a lead brick wall. The idea of allowing someone back into your heart is overwhelming. You’re constantly living with the fear that just as you slip, right as you fall, they’re going to turn around and leave you. You start to over-analyze every word, every text (or lack thereof) and every action. What once was ‘good enough’ for you just doesnt cut it anymore. The nights at home by yourslf, the time that was used to catch up, the quiet moments to reflect, dream and wonder. They don’t mean quite as much anymore because they arent with you. The last thing you want to do is base your happiness on someone else, right?
So you have to sit down with yourself and take a step back from everything. To remember that no matter what happens, you’ll be okay. You’ve still got the nights out with the friends who know you best, conversations over coffee with family that never judge, and those walks through the trails that settle your mind. You have to remember that with every mistake comes a lesson and with every heartache comes a kind of understanding. You have to be content with the fact that love is taking a risk; but it’s a risk of the greatest kind. When you find the one that’s worth tearing down that brick wall around your heart, you have to walk into it willingly. You have to remember that no matter what happens, you still have yourself. That’s all you’ll ever need.